Friday, September 6, 2019

The Coolest Stuff in the World vs Tilt Trucks

We all know that Web-Tex Tilt Trucks are pretty awesome. They are manufactured in North Texas using recycled plastic and rotomolded to be tough and durable. If you have construction, janitorial, or demolition debris to haul - these trucks can handle whatever you throw at them. They have steel-frames capable of hauling up to 1,200 lbs. So yeah, they're cool. However, how do they stack up against the coolest stuff in the world? Time for some head-to-head comparisons.

ROUND 1: Beef Jerky vs Web-Tex Tilt Trucks

Jerky is lean and delicious, and it can be marinated with a number of delicious liquids or spices. That gives it a slight advantage out of the gate, because you can marinate a Web-Tex Tilt Truck, but it's not gonna make it taste any better. When it comes to the need to be refrigerated, neither jerky nor a Web-Tex Tilt Truck needs to be refrigerated. However, good jerky is flimsy and easy to tear where Web-Tex Tilt Trucks are not. Go ahead and try to tear one of our trucks, you'll just hurt your hand. This gives the Tilt Trucks an 11% advantage over jerky.

THE VERDICT: Tilt Trucks are cooler than Beef Jerky

ROUND 2: Dolph Lundgren vs Web-Tex Tilt Trucks

Dolph Lundgren may be Swedish, but that didn't stop him from being the greatest action movie star of all time (we will argue with you about this). Lundgren has portrayed The Punisher, Gunnar Jensen, The Universal Soldier, He-Man, and of course Rocky Balboa's nemesis Ivan Drago. Unfortunately our Tilt Trucks are still working on their headshots before breaking into the film industry so this advantage has to go to the star of Sharknado 5. Lundgren also gets a nod for his martial arts skills as he is a 3rd degree Black Belt. However, don't count the Tilt Trucks out just yet because they have wheels and as far as we can tell; Dolph Lundgren does not have wheels. In order to have wheels, Dolph would need to strap on a pair of rollerblades, which would severely limit his karate skills, and even Ivan Drago can't make those look cool. This gives a major advantage to the Hand Trucks.

THE VERDICT: Wheels are cool, and Lundgren has none. Tilt Trucks (but just barely).

ROUND 3: 1966 Shelby Cobra 427 vs Web-Tex Tilt Trucks

Carroll Shelby knew how to build cars. The 66' Cobra 427 is the coolest car of all-time (once again, we stand behind this definitive statement). While the Cobra has some roots in Great Britain, the perfect iteration of it was designed in cooperation with Ford in Detroit, Michigan. This beauty of engineering has a top speed of 164 mph in the standard model and 185 mph in the competitive version, this gives it an advantage in cool factor over Web-Tex Tilt Trucks which only has a top-speed of 27.8 mph if it were being pushed by Usain Bolt. However, there is only one genuine 66' Cobra Super Snake left in the world which recently sold for over 5 million dollars. Web-Tex Tilt Trucks are still being manufactured and won't break the bank (even for a pallet of 5-trucks).

THE VERDICT: Money and availability talks, Tilt Trucks are cooler than a Shelby Cobra

There you have it folks. Web-Tex Tilt Trucks are cooler than a 1966 Shelby Cobra 427, Beef Jerky, and Dolph Lundgren*. Get yours online today at https://www.tilttrucksaccessories.com and be the coolest thing since sliced bread.


DISCLAIMER*: The above head-to-heads only test Tilt Trucks vs each item individually, we do not know if they are cooler than Dolph Lundgren driving a 1966 Shelby Cobra while eating beef jerky.

No comments:

Post a Comment